Unchanged Not an Option
“The demands of the work are greater than any man may assume in his own strength. The requirements of the work greatly stretch him. He cannot remain the same.” The Christian Counselors Manual Jay E. Adams (1973). The topic of the book as the name suggest is counseling but when I read this sentence all I heard screaming was: The demands of this disease are greater than any man may assume in his own strength! The requirements of the disease stretch him! He cannot remain the same! That day I learned never a truer statement will be written.
Giving us the dreadful news that September morning, the doctor uncorked the bitter taste of CANCER, and filled our glass to the brim. My spiritual side instantly went to God in prayer but the emotional side started yelling No, No, No!! Not my little girl! The one that stood by my bed at 3 years old with her arms up saying “Me, Me” because she couldn’t climb on the bed with her daddy. My little MeMe with the utterance of one word “cancer” would now grow up in an instant. The lessons flooding in without choice teaching the importance of fighting in the spiritual realm as well as the flesh. We left the room that morning with a firm decision, we would fight in such a way to ensure God Gets The Glory.
Stretched For His Glory
And he went a little farther, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt. Mt 26:39
Jesus prayed this in the garden but not in defiance of God yet in agreement that God’s will was in everyone’s best interest. This is the prayer we now pray for our family. Not in defiance of God but in agreement that His will is the best, while also asking, if there is any other way. There are times when God’s will is the best even though it hurts. In this life we will never see what God is protecting us from, or who God is helping, when we go through the trials.
An MRI late Sunday shows tumors have grown in Jenna’s brain (03-05-18) and they cannot be treated. After a long discussion and many questions there are no treatments, trials, or test that will help. Doc said it is only a matter of time before she goes home to be with our Jesus. After letting Jenna know the outcome of the scans many difficult discussions took place. What will it be like when I start to crossover? Will I be able to see you and mama? What is Heaven really like? Why do we still pray if I am going to die? Will I get a new body and walk again? I will miss hearing you pray. I am scared. All of these were discussed openly and answered to the best of our ability which seems very inadequate at the moment.
She is scared and trying as best she can at 14 years old to understand what going to Heaven really means. We all prayed and discussed the glory of our Heavenly Father and the streets of gold. In a moment in the twinkling of an eye she will be with our Lord. The last 6 months of unending pain will be over. She was at ease as she fell asleep and this has to be God’s comfort at work.
33 These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.
Are Emotions Ok?
Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep. Romans 12:15
During the last update we struggled with how to explain emotions and what they mean to us as humans. The thought behind this is why can’t we give God our emotions. Wouldn’t that make life easier never going through the emotions required by circumstances? We pondered for awhile on what this would mean for us as well as those around us. If we could give them all to God we wouldn’t be able to empathize the way we should for others comfort. Ceasing to love as Jesus loves and void of caring interaction for those in pain. So as you read this and interact in the situation it is okay to cry and laugh but always remember that God has control of eternity and emotions make us real.
We are emotional beings and as such can feel others pain. Not only can we empathize we can also decide if we want to be apart of the situation. This is the free will God gave us to serve Him or not. As we grow and learn to serve God properly we hurt and rejoice with each other. Communities around the world have empathized with our family since the beginning of this journey and it has filled our hearts with love. During one of our discussions with Jenna it came up that the only way to travel through this journey was to love others the way Jesus loves us.
Continue to Pray
We appreciate everything and ask that you continue praying for our family. There is no estimate as to when God will take our little girl home. Homecoming could be today or six months from now it is in God’s hands. We wait.