So It Begins
Our faith Journey started with a short post on Facebook (Prayers For Jenna Bodiford And Family): “It is with a sad heart but a hopeful spirit that my wife and I say our daughter Jenna has been diagnosed with cancer a mass around the base of her spine. Please pray with us on her behalf for relief and healing. Rest assured her journey in faith and ours says no matter what our Christ never fails us. Please pray!!!!”
Our journey had begun as these words were painfully typed into that small create post box that solitarily says “What’s on your mind?“, as if it cares. I’m not quite sure we understood the refining process about to take place in our lives. This process entails deepening our faith-life, prayer-life, along with deepening our understanding of who God is, and how He loves, during circumstances that are completely out of our control.
On September 18, 2017 our 14 year old daughter said “Daddy it’s going to be alright” after hearing she had stage 4 Rhabdomyosarcoma throughout her body. This diagnosis was earth shattering for our family but what we didn’t expect was a refining process for our Christian walk. Any grand thoughts influencing her faith were shattered after Jenna’s proclamation of being alright. This wasn’t the first time her faith had shined forth. Jenna was in pain for weeks awaiting a diagnosis for the issue. One night the pain was so severe she couldn’t sleep and all of a sudden stopped hurting. She said “God just touched me and I know everything will be okay”. I can let you in on how doc treated her but there is no way I can describe the pain she was experiencing.
After her diagnosis and admittance to the hospital they attempted to manage her pain. Initially loratab was administered and should have put her out along with the pain but not a chance. Putting this into perspective the loratab didn’t work and Jenna only weighed 100 pounds when admitted. Shortly after an intravenous narcotic called “dialudid” was started with morphine on top. The pain was never brought under control but she could lay still for a few minutes at the time. I point this out because this pain was ongoing for days before she was admitted to the hospital. She was telling us how God was comforting her, wrapping His arms around her, and that it would be okay. This is the type of faith I required going forward yet was currently missing in my life.
Jenna had the type of deep faith that requires scuba gear. She was using it for comfort throughout the pain. Since then I have been evaluating everything about my faith and how I trust God. As I learn more about her situation and live the unimaginable it becomes apparent my faith needs to grow. Even with growth confidence I will reach the depths my 14-year-old little girl has mastered are not guaranteed.
39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:39